Mother's day for me is a big day... I get a log tremendously with Mom... She and I keep each other on the curb so to speak...
But Father's day is something else for me... it's a day that I can sit back and wish for what I don't have... you see... Dad's never really been there for me... he never took me hunting (which isn't a bad thing)... he only took me fishing when someone else was going, never took me to a ballgame or any sporting event for that matter... he was just never around... the guys on base were always more important... I could never live up to his expectations... so I stopped trying... I am who I am... if he can't deal with it... then that is his issue...
It hurts to think of him in that light but I have no other way to look at him... I love him because he is my father and I will only have one of those... but to like him is something I find very hard to do...
In looking back at the men that I've called Master I often wonder if that is what I was really looking for... a father that would take me and love me as a father should??? Something to think about...
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