lot of stuff going on these past few days preping for the the first Sunday of Advent - four more till Christmas! ARGHHHH! Too close - way too close! lol....

I am looking forward to making a big dinner for mom and dad tomorrow... we're going to celebrate a day early... Monday December 1st is mom and dads 55th Wedding Anniversary! Seems like it was just yesterday that Anne and I were planning the big 50th extravaganza!

I often wonder if things had gone differently and Andy and I were still together (good gravy it would have been 16 years in June) where I would be now?

I know I wouldn't be moving to DC as a slave.... that's for sure -

There is so many things to be thankful for this year... family, friends, a new leather family, a new Master and slave sister, a new member of the family - our health and the outlook of a new job and moving in the near future...

But one thing I have noticed is that as much as we have to be thankful for the less the term "Thank You" is used... it's a sad state of affairs when a simple but meaningful term isn't being used.... where are the basic manners going? Is "Please" and "Thank you" a thing of the past?

Oprah had a great show on tonight... her and Dr. Oz were discussing areas of the world where people live to be of ripe old age... They discussed what makes it work for them... in all 5 places the same formula rang through... 1. Purpose - have a reason to get up every morning 2. Connect with nature - walk, garden, commune 3. Eat Healthy - make meat a side dish not an entree, use more nuts, grains and beans 4. Find a Spiritual base - ground yourself into the religion of choice.

What a great show to watch after my earlier post about why am I here?... My project for the next to weeks is to discover and verbalize my purpose....

Music is done... and I am glad of that!... it took all day to finish the CDs but they are also done... it feels great knowing that! besides that today went ok... not much else to say...

going to relax tonight and watch star wars!

today just kind of few by.... I finished putting the music together and now just have the cd to do... I should be able to get that done tomorrow... along with a bunch of other small stuff that needs to get caught up...

This week is going to be messed up... choir is moved to tuesday morning... then the whole holiday thing mid week.... fun fun fun!

ok... so winter is here already! today we hit a HIGH of 24 degrees F... plus a strong wind brought the windchill to about 8... WAY THE HELL TOO COLD! for November!... sorry... needed to get that out! :)

spent the morning at the Christmas Fair... moving tables and furniture, selling stuff, manning tables and covering for breaks... it was great fun! totally sold out of the goodies we brought! WooHoo! I've already been asked when the candy gets made.... HAHA... this year it's not! getting to costly....

Mass went well and things are looking great for Christmas... will seem odd that this is the last Midnight Mass I play here at Holy Trinity... but it will be for the best!

Tomorrow after breakfast I will be recording music for the rehearsal CD for the choir... I enjoy doing those!

Finished up the cooking this morning... final tally was 3 dozen chocolate moon pies, 3 dozen pumpkin moon pies, 1 dozen banana breads, 1 dozen ground apple breads and 1 dozen pumpkin squares... all wrapped, priced and delivered by noon! The second half the day was finishing up projects... I seem to be ready for the weekend... I'm working at the fair in the morning then have mass in the afternoon...

sunday looks like it's going to be a good day to regroup for thanksgiving... we have 6 coming over... my goal is to be set by wednesday.... and just need to pop the turkey in the oven thursday AM.... I'm not playing the Mass thursday morning so I'll be able to get the rest of the stuff set up and the table set while everyone is away... it will work out great!

I'm feeling a lot better since my thursday meeting... more confidant and aware of everything going on... a lot more perspective on things... everything will work out in time.... and patience is the key right now... (not one of my strong points)

Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat.... please to put your penny in the old mans hat...
Tis the season for Christmas fairs and starting the Thanksgiving preparations... there's a lot to do... including getting the music ready for Christmas and the choir... I have 6 people singing!!! woohoo!
So after some errands early we made moon pies, ground apple breads, pumpkin bars and banana breads....
Everything else that happened today was very positive... enough said!

well... back to work for a bit....

another busy day with no relief... looks like I may be looking for a new business partner... he's been given written notice that he's not up to par... something we've talked about a few times... now the ball is in his court... I'll be glad to get rid of the business and get a job that I can leave at work...

Winter is here... as I write this it is 20 degrees outside... everything is read to go so I can't complain too much!

Personal things are finally back on track and moving forward... AMEN!

I'm looking forward to the years end! next year hold a lot of good changes!

no blog today... just a rhetorical question of the day...


What's the point of existence? What is the ultimate point of being here?


things that make you go ...hmmmmm....


.

the gift given in return...

An interesting reading at mass tonight...

There was a house master that gave on of his slaves some 10,000 coins and told him that in 1 year he was to come back to him... he did the same with a second slave... gave him 5000 coins and told him to come back in 1 year... and to a third he gave 1000 coins...

The first went out and wisely invested it and doubled what the master gave him... the second the same... the third out of fear buried the money...

After the year the three returned to the master... the first said Master you gave me 10,000 I return with 20,000 - the second said Master you gave 5,000 I return with 10,000 - the third said you gave 1000 coins... and since I know that you reap where you did not sow... I return with the 1000 coins...

The lesson I left with was this... how often do we take something from a Master or someone and not use it to it's fullest potential instead out of fear or ego we bury it in the sand... then when the Master returns for the profits of the gifts they are nowhere to be found because the gifts were never fully utilized...

The lesson goes a step further because we as slaves give our Masters gifts... how many hide those in the sand and don't utilize them? Do they even acknowledge the gifts we give? If so, how do they show it?

something to think about....

Frustrated!

What do you do when you want to let go and trust... believing that your Master knows best... but then at the same time have feeling that the enough-is-enough breaking point is slowly creep up on you... do you say something? Do you openly trust that he is doing this for a reason? Is he looking outside the box and not just at his desires? or do I just say respectfully Sir... no?

It's a quandary that I hear from many slaves that don't have the privilege or the ability to live with their Masters... so where do we go? what do we do? Is there a way around this besides the obvious?

Guess tonight will be spent in thought and meditation....

What more can I say???

Lot's of stuff going on today... a bunch of meetings took place and all went well! I sent off a proposal for brochures to twin pond lodge manager John... and even had time to whip up a big batch of Mac & Cheese for dinner! woohoo!

Today was also the beginning of the Christmas music pull party! lol... I've pulled everything from the A,B,C and D sections! Fun oh fun! what else went on... oh... did the laundry... hang dried the sheets... love the "fall" smell they get... after a nice hot shower tonight it will be a great sleep on air dried sheets! yummmy!

Got a cancellation today from one of the three MAsT members... so I'll be contacting #2 to cancel... :( I've received no rsvps and don't expect any.... Oh well... It was offered... nothing more that I can do! So unless things change I will be going to the lodge for some r&r and a chance to meet with john on the brochure ideas... not to mention some good eye candy and "other" fun!

I guess that's all thats going on in my life right now....

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

What a day! the sun came out for about 5 hours... plenty of time to take a walk around the lodge with a real cute guy... the woods are great in the buff... the hot tub, the pool the sauna... Absolutely Wonderful! I might even have gotten a job out of the day!

I've sent off a proposal to the owner and will hopefully hear back soon... I've already started drafting ideas and thoughts.... fun fun fun!

Might go back next Sunday if I don't get any RSVPs for the MAsT meeting... I've already heard from one of the three that said she can't make it... now I just wait till Thursday to make the call!

Today has been a frustrating day dealing with the bank... Bank of America is the most disorganized bank I've seen in a long time... but in the end... I won!

Tomorrow are the meeting that I was supposed to have today.... I had to move them due to the banking issue that took precedence.

Looks like Witer is finally going to make a showing....

What a way to get motivated in the morning! This morning I got up at my usual time and did just shy of an hour and a half meditation... then sat to answer a few emails before I was to wake Master at 8am... I had just picked up my cell when I get a yell from downstairs... "Paul there is a mess down here"... Crap I thought! what was wrong now??? I call Master with an abrupt "can't call back Sir... got a mess to clean up"... and headed down... % gallons of Poland Spring water was from one end of the kitchen to the other... and the water cooler was empty! OMG!!! So I hauled out the Hoover floor cleaner/wet vac and started picking up the water... just what I wanted to be doing at 8am on a saturday! I called Master back after finishing up to explain what had happened... ended up leaving a voice mail... then I called PSW to find out what to do... I was given a little test to do and found out that the bottle was indeed leaking... ARGH... so monday they will replace the bottle of water at no cost and check out the machine just in case...

After that I still had a full day ahead of me... cooking for the bean supper... shower and prep for church... deliver the food... Mass... then home for dinner! Yikes!

BUT! Tomorrow I get to relax... I am spending the day at the Naturalist lodge up north... whew! some R&R... me, a hot tub a pool and book... and a lot of naked men!! Yeehaw!

All goes well! I know that sounds like a "Hollywood" answer but it really is... After Wednesday nights little episode with the glasses ending up in two pieces... to forking out $90.00 for Optometrist services ... to today... it's all good! I came home with a free trial pair of contacts ... and if I may say so look damn good! I had forgotten just how great contacts are...

Where is my service... at peace... there is no other way to explain it... I am comfortable where I am and where my service is... I've expressed my hope that things can stay they way they are until the move and the job and everything else goes through... my plate is only so big... and as of late my cup runneth over! lol...

Autumn Leaves

What an awesome day... got to wake Master before the crack of dawn... twice! then had a great chat with him as he drove into work... It ended up being a great day to get out and work in the yard... got all the leaves up, the decorations in and stored and a few plants repotted for the winter... now I'm dog tired and ready to call it a day... but I can't.... lol... I still have some work to do and a couple of loads of laundry to take care of....

This time of the year and all that is going on with the "big move" and me personally with my slavery reminds me of a great autumn poem called the Sacrament of letting go... so I post it here for you...

THE SACRAMENT OF LETTING GO
I worry too much

Autumn leaves ask me not to worry.
They, like Jesus, suggest trust, rather than worry.

So often in Autumn, I want to go lean my head against a tree and ask what it feels like to lose so much,
to be so empty, so detached,
and to take off one's shoes that well,
and then simply to stand and wait for God's refilling.

It sounds so simple, so easy.
But it isn't easy. It's hard! But possible!

We Autumn stragglers must try hard not to wear discouragement
as a cloak, if we cannot wear emptiness enough to make us free.
It takes a long time to get as far as even wanting to be empty.

It is the sacrament of letting go that our hearts are hungering for.
And once we discover that we already possess enough grace to let go,
trust begins to form in the center of who we are.
Then we take off our shoes and stand empty and vulnerable,
eager to receive God's next gift.

Slowly, the trees celebrate the sacrament of "letting go".

First, they surrender their green, then their orange, yellow and red.

Finally, they let go of their brown.
Shedding their last leaf they stand empty and silent, stripped bare.
Leaning against the sky they begin their vigil of TRUST.

As the last leaf falls, they watch it journey to the ground.
They stand in silence, wearing the color of emptiness,
their branches wondering:
How do you give shade, with so much gone?

And then the sacrament of waiting begins.

The sunset and sunrise watch with tenderness
clothing them with silhouettes that keep HOPE alive.
They help them understand that vulnerability, dependence, need, emptiness, and readiness to receive,
are giving them a new kind of beauty.

Every morning and every evening, we stand in silence,
celebrating together the sacrament of letting go… of waiting…

Let us pray for one another; for emptying is painful, and the Body of Christ• that we are, demands that we support- each other in this Autumn effort
Autumn leaves, like Jesus, ask us not to worry.

not much to talk about today... just a tuesday.... and yes I voted (last thursday!)

on fetishes

It's been and interesting - fun - exciting past week and future week too... I've been exploring my fetish side... leather, chains, diapers.... I've connected with a wonderful new community that has helped me expand that which I didn't totally understand... I thank the group from the bottom of my heart it has opened my eyes to the spirituality of fetishes...

Master Skip gave a class called the "manna of fetish" ... I'm not sure what besides Master Skip himself made me attend that class... but I did... I had always hid and been ashamed of my fetishes... afraid people would make comments... or laugh... or just be cruel... I didn't answer his questions at the beginning of the class about who wore what, did what, or got hard over what.... I was scared and nervous... but realizing that the spirituality that is encompassed in the fetishes is a gift that is there to fulfill a need has helped me indulge my fetish to the fullest... what a great freedom.

the right to vote...

As we grow closer to tuesdays vote I just wanted to "out" my feelings about topics that have been flooding the web as of late.

Our right as Americans to vote... is it everyones right to vote... yes by all means... after all how long did it take for the matriarchs to break through the "good old boys" club and gain the ability and right to vote? way too long in my book... I take my right seriously and study the candidates in depth... I read all I can find about them, how they stand on issues and how they deal with the people at large... do I care if they served in the military or not? not really... let's face it... if I screw in a light bulb does that make me an electrician???

Do I feel a slave has to vote the same as their Master? or need to be directed how to vote by their Master? no... we are all intelligent human beings... that have been given the right to exercise their knowledge... ok... so some haven't figured that out yet... what can I say... you can lead a horse to water... can't make it drink...

Early on in the research I had the opportunity to read both of Obamas books... this was also during his campain travels and speeches... much to my dismay I found him two faced... his books said one thing and he was peaching another... was I to believe his books or what he was telling the American public? And then there was Mr. McCain... the GWB little-me! and his running mate rambo from the great white north! enough said! then there were the independants... well... let's not even go there.... could write chapter and verse on them!

So then came time to vote... yup... I voted early (last thursday)... I stood there with three pages double sided with questions... but I wanted to get the important stuff out of the way... I started with the election... I voted a democratic ticket all the way... and voted down the majority of the towns charter amendments...

I do believe I surprised Master in the way I voted... as I told him... things do change... things like the campaign tactics... for the past week Obama has been steadily dealing with the issues... while McCain has continued mud slinging... not the type I want in office...

So those are my feelings about voting and the candidates... slavery and our rights...

now off the soap box! lol

May the best man win... and I'm pretty sure Obama will!

Today was fun... bouncing in and out of church all day.... seems like it's been that way for a couple of days! between the funerals friday, 2 masses today and another funeral tuesday.... but hey the money is good... and that helps a lot!

Going to the lodge tomorrow... the weather is going to be nice and there's nothing going on here so time to go catch some rays! woohoo!

had a few bites on jobs yesterday... so monday I'll be making some calls... cross everything that can be crossed and say a prayer or two... I need this job!!!

gonna go back to chatting for a bit then it will be off to bed for an early start tomorrow...