5/26/10

I had a great time at Master Taino's last night, eddy and I finished the deck in about 1 1/2 hours... it looks great!!! met two great guys that stopped over for dinner... woof! to bad they work for the other side :( lol... just a great evening...

Now to the topic of the day:
This is something that I am revisiting because it seems to still be an issue with me... How do I ask for something that I want? I wish I could pinpoint the reason. I find it impossible to ask to be flogged, to be played with, to be touched... After my last chat about this I found that it has to do in part with the way I was raised... simply to not beg for something that I want... it was just something that one didn't do... even now when I get the feeling that I would like a flogging or whatever the feelings of I shouldn't disturb him with such a little thing, he's to busy, what if he has time planned for someone else? I'm not as important as other's in the house... I realize in typing those how silly they may seem but honestly they are real feelings...

I feel like such a looser writing that... the answer is so simple... just ask... I know that in my head... but my heart rules differently. My heart worries about others more than me. I sometimes wonder about the responsibility of the Master in deciding who plays and when the play happens... I have to be honest, I don't know Master well enough to know his feelings and thoughs about this... a learning curve again... I seem to get stuck in the learning curve relationships... lol it sucks! now there is honesty!

ARGH!!! frustrating!

well time to get some work done!

schedule for Wednesday:
5:00am at work
2:00pm leave
2:30pm at storage unit to find baking stuff and folding tables
5:30pm Dinner
7:00pm BJ and Giants run
9:30pm bed

schedule for Thursday:
5:00am work
2:00pm leave
2:30pm Wegmans to get picture printed
3:00pm home - decorate cake
5:30pm dinner
7:00pm finish cake, prep strawberries for saturday
9:00pm gather cloths and stuff for weekend
10:00pm bed

schedule for Friday:
5:00am work - deliver cake
2:00pm leave
2:15pm to Master's for the weekend

slave paul