From the well:
As I sit here Saturday finally quieting down and enjoying the peace that surrounds me I find my mind looking at where I am and what I'm feeling... I wish I could say that it's a comfortable place but it's not.
While I enjoy the family and the service I am still feeling lost and without direction. I realize relationships take time to build. I know I am not one of Masters slaves. I know I'm part of the family. but what does all that mean? Guardian Master? What does that entail? What does Master expect from me? Go over do some work in and out of the house, have dinner, do dishes go home? sounds like a houseboy to me...
I feel like I'm in a tunnel. to my back is lost, nothingness, and empty feelings... in front is warmth, being owned, cherished, a part of a unit that is family. But I stand stuck in the middle with no understanding of what is expected of me... I'm almost there but not... I'm treated as part... but not... is this what limbo feels like?
Where do I belong?
I feel that maybe a contract spelling out where and what I am and Master is might help... naybe that will allow me to view the big picture... and maybe it will clarify where I'm heading... where this relationship is heading... where life is taking me.
No comments:
Post a Comment