A really good class last night and a great topic!
I sat there during the class thinking how much I'm missing the "contact" and headspace that I had with M Larry and some of the other M's that I've served. Even though I didn't get a response from M Larry I knew that he had the opportunity to read the text message that I sent in the morning, noon and night. It kept me in that headspace that place of knowing that Master was there and it was him that I served day in and day out...
I thought a lot last night on the way home about writing this blog/communication to express a desire to return to that... ok maybe not to the three times a day routine that I was in... but maybe a mid day text or email to say "hi" and to let you know where I'm at on that particular day. It would also open some communication when you are away.
When Master David asked us to do that little exercise I mentioned how important that greating time was to me, and how not being there all the time it became even more special and important to me... Unlike sl david and sl matt I don't have a mantra or daily connection time to keep me connected and centered... and yes I know that I'm not your slave and you are under no obligation to accept this proposal along with the fact that you are not real big on texting... but it is something to discuss or work on in the near future...
sp
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
10/12/10
"What do I want?"
I've been asked that question so many times and have had answers in my head but have never sat down and written them out... so here goes!
In life:
In today's society we are supposed to be in a good career, make good money and be successful. For me that is not important. I make enough to be comfortable, I have a small savings account that allows me the little extras I like ... that make me happy. My job is fun and the people are great. So being content is a big plus.
In Health:
I am alive and not in pain... what more can I ask for? OK so I'm not the picture of perfect health... I wasn't made that way. I was made to have challenges. Being a diabetic offers that. The point I believe is that I take care of myself... I eat well and exercise - I don't smoke, do drugs or abuse my body... I am at peace with that.
In Religion:
This becomes a sore topic on the home front! I was born and raised in a Catholic household. But never accepted in my religion... let's face it gays are not accepted openly in a lot of places. But my faith is strong. Master Steve has guided me to Buddhism. A simple straight forward faith. Be true to yourself and to those around you... be who you are! I consider myself a Christian Buddhist and happy with that choise.
In Relationship:
What I want used to be clearly defined as to what I want in a partner. I still find myself longing for that closeness but sway rapidly when I am centered on my slavery. It confuses me sometimes to the point that I opt to have nothing. All the while knowing in my heart that I need someone.
In a Master:
What I want mostly is someone to lead me on my journey. Someone that is willing while on this journey to accept what I am willing to give him. Someone that will accept the service I can give, someone that will accept my heart. A play-partner, someone that will learn to read my movement and allow our time together to be a dance of energy, someone that will allow a deep heart-fealt connection to happen. Someone that will touch the depths of my soul and only ask for me to grow.
In my slavery:
I set my standards very high when it comes to what I want... I want only the best. I want that connection, I want that love, I want that peace, I want the knowledge of the ages, I want it all and know that I will only get what I am willing to give... so I give everything.
I've been asked that question so many times and have had answers in my head but have never sat down and written them out... so here goes!
In life:
In today's society we are supposed to be in a good career, make good money and be successful. For me that is not important. I make enough to be comfortable, I have a small savings account that allows me the little extras I like ... that make me happy. My job is fun and the people are great. So being content is a big plus.
In Health:
I am alive and not in pain... what more can I ask for? OK so I'm not the picture of perfect health... I wasn't made that way. I was made to have challenges. Being a diabetic offers that. The point I believe is that I take care of myself... I eat well and exercise - I don't smoke, do drugs or abuse my body... I am at peace with that.
In Religion:
This becomes a sore topic on the home front! I was born and raised in a Catholic household. But never accepted in my religion... let's face it gays are not accepted openly in a lot of places. But my faith is strong. Master Steve has guided me to Buddhism. A simple straight forward faith. Be true to yourself and to those around you... be who you are! I consider myself a Christian Buddhist and happy with that choise.
In Relationship:
What I want used to be clearly defined as to what I want in a partner. I still find myself longing for that closeness but sway rapidly when I am centered on my slavery. It confuses me sometimes to the point that I opt to have nothing. All the while knowing in my heart that I need someone.
In a Master:
What I want mostly is someone to lead me on my journey. Someone that is willing while on this journey to accept what I am willing to give him. Someone that will accept the service I can give, someone that will accept my heart. A play-partner, someone that will learn to read my movement and allow our time together to be a dance of energy, someone that will allow a deep heart-fealt connection to happen. Someone that will touch the depths of my soul and only ask for me to grow.
In my slavery:
I set my standards very high when it comes to what I want... I want only the best. I want that connection, I want that love, I want that peace, I want the knowledge of the ages, I want it all and know that I will only get what I am willing to give... so I give everything.
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