I had a long involved dream last night that led me to getting up late this morning... not a good way to start a tuesday.
The dream was a review of the weekend at CK, but focused on two areas... our scene on friday and the cathartic flogging class on sunday. I looked at our scene, powerful and energy filled. A very moving time for me and from what I've read in the fetlife messages, touched many others. In looking at the scene, and the majority of our scenes, one thing holds true for me... I'm not vocal and not a big mover... I shift area as I process the energy and for shere comfort... that's about it.
The dream then turned to the class and words that you spoke about how you work off of the release that people show... the animal release, the laughing, the crying, the outburst... I often wonder if it's because my release isn't of the norm that you have never asked me to do a class with you... I understand that nine years of whips, floggers and energy work has taught me to process in a more controlled manner and that probably isn't what you want people to witness... it's more dramatic to have the vocal and movement aspect...
I no longer feel that I'm "not doing it right" because I don't vocalize during our scenes... and I feel that you have tapped into my energy and are able to accept it and work with it as much as I have learned to accept yours.
Master, our time together is special to me... it is the intimacy that I need from you... as an aside... one of my biggest highlights was on Saturday when I sat next to you in the dungeon and you put your arm around me... I wish I could explain how I felt during that time... that connection, that intimacy... Thank you for that Master... it was so appreciated.
No comments:
Post a Comment